quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
