This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
