mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
do herpes really smell.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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