Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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