I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
