i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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