All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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