Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
