I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
