i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
