True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
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He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
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He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize