Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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