your thong is hanging out like whoa
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
