They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
