I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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