I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
