'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
