my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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