is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize