My brain says no but my pants say off.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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