so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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