My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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