I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
