I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
