I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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