just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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