FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You made out with two different species that night
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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