i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize