brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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