If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
