I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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