So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize