Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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