and you said cock pushups were impossible
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Everyone says I win the strip club
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
