some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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