how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
