Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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