I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
