he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
