She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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