I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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