apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
