I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
