just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
