you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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