I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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