better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
