I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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