Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
