Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
