Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize