Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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