The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize