I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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