Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Can Purell be used as lube?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
