who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
