just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
