i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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