Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
