Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
