i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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