i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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