If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
