girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
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I can't turn off my feet"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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