can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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